Reliable data including police reports, witness statements, and emergency room reports indicate that men are the predominant aggressors in over 90% of reported battering cases.

But you don't have to hit someone to batter that person.

Many people think battering is defined by how many times a man hits a woman. In fact, many men who complete our 6-month batterers program have never physically struck a woman. What they have done, however, is struck fear in a woman by using a wide range of controlling and abusive behaviors over a sustained period of time.

These behaviors result in her feeling sometimes devastated, often degraded and always hurt. For a more complete spectrum of battering behaviors read the violent and controlling behaviors checklist. You may find it useful to check the behaviors you or a friend have used. It's also instructive to note how often you have used them and how the person, or people, you have used them against have been affected emotionally and physically.

Remember, she may say and do things that upset and challenge you, but she can't make you attack her. The only person who can make you do that is you. The only person who can stop you is you.

Men Stopping Violence offers a 24 week program for men who believe they have a problem using abusive behavior against women and want to change. For more information please see Men Stopping Violence's Batters Intervention Program or call (404) 270-9894 to get involved.