Men Stopping Violence - Their Dangerous Swagger: Men Stopping Violence Offers An Opinion

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The New York Times
On June 8, Maureen Dowd, a columnist with the New York Times wrote the editorial Their Dangerous Swagger where she described the organized sexual harassment of 14 year-old girls by a group of boys attending Landon, an elite private elementary school and high school for boys in Bethesda, MD. The boys in this group conducted a campaign of recruiting and ranking girls' sexual attributes and attitudes. The campaign was planned to culminate in a party at which the boys would "score points by trying to rack up as many sexual encounters with the young women as possible."

At the end of Ms. Dowd's detailed description of this intricate planning of sexual conquest, the ranking of girls as sexual objects, and the outrage of the parents of the girls, there were two critical pieces of information. The first was that Landon School is the alma mater of George Huguely, the ex-boyfriend of Yeardley Love, who kicked in Yeardley's apartment door and banged her head against the wall until she died last month.

The second disturbing piece of information was that the Landon School spokesperson, Jean Erstling, was apparently not outraged that boys from her school were systematically degrading 14 year-old girls. She was "aware of the incident," but stated that "Landon has an extensive ethics and character education program which includes as its key tenets respect and honesty." When the parents of the girls demanded that punishment for those culpable should have been greater, her response was that "disciplinary actions are confidential." Landon School has made it clear that their institution values male student confidentiality more than the safety and respect of girls.

Men Stopping Violence's Opinion

The New York Times website carries several comments on Ms. Dowd's column. Among them are the inevitable assertions that George Huguely's actions were those of a troubled individual and had nothing to do with the culture of Landon School. It is, no doubt, true that many factors contributed to his choice to brutally attack his ex-girlfriend. But we believe there is a connection between Landon School's attitude about this group of boys and one of Landon's graduates feeling entitled to kick in his ex-girlfriend's door.

How different would it be if Ms. Erstling chose not to defend Landon but to be horrified that this behavior was taking place on their campus? What if she had said that they would do whatever it took to ensure that their key tenet of respect was upheld by holding each and every boy involved accountable for disrespecting young girls? That would send a powerful message to the boys at Landon – girls have a right to live safely. Period.

What if George Huguely had gotten that message in elementary and high school? Maybe he would still have banged Yeardley's head in to the wall until she died. On the other hand, he may have made a different choice about what to do with his feelings, because he had learned in school that girls have the right to live safely. Period.

Click here to help build safer communities for 14 year old girls.